Never Goin’ Back Movie Review (2018)

I feel like I’m a really good audience for most films. I love film and I can get really into almost every genre and every topic. But when the movie is terrible, like Never Goin’ Back, there’s nothing I can do about that.

You know those movies that you watch where you start by taking an interest in the characters and then slowly your eyes start to glaze over? The people who you were once trying to relate to reveal themselves to be annoying, and the entire film around them feels inane? Yeah, that’s where I am right now.

Never Goin’ Back is the story of two broke 17 year old best friends who decide to use their rent money to pay for a trip to celebrate one of their birthdays. They live in the same room in a house with roommates, are servers at the same diner, and have the same dreams and humor. When their plan doesn’t work out and they need quick cash, they come up with a wacky alternative to make ends meet.

This movie is full of raunch and cheap laughs. I did chuckle twice, which I was thankful for, but most of it was incredibly lame and increasingly annoying. The girls go from being funny and quirky at the beginning of the movie to entitled people who take advantage of everyone else to benefit themselves. This can be done in an endearing way, but it isn’t here and it’s not cute.

The women (who are, at times, surrounded by a goofy brother, his ridiculous friends, their nice boss, a mean girl at work, and a crotchety man at a grocery store) go through several different vignettes that are probably supposed to stand on their own merit, but they each fall completely flat.

There is a very long storyline that involves pooping and later, vomiting, both of which can be done in a very funny way (Bridesmaids‘ wedding dress scene or Stand By Me’s Barfarama, anyone?), but this was just icky by the time it got to the payoff.

Never Goin’ Back is a film that wasn’t for me. I tried, but found it really clunky, unfunny, and irritating. Not to mention, it has what is likely one of the stupidest (and could have been funny, but wasn’t) robbery scenes in cinematic history. Don’t waste your time.

Runtime: 86 minutes

Motion Picture Rating: R

Languages Spoken In The Film: English

Should You Watch It? No, don’t do it

Did I Cry? I wanted to, but only because of how painful it was

My Rating: 1/5 Stars

Available: To rent on Prime Video or may be available for free on other streaming platforms