Honey Don’t! Movie Review (2025)
An odd film that never clicks, Honey Don’t!, about a private investigator in a small town, has no sensible storyline or entertainment value. Seriously, just don’t.
There are some movies where, when you hit play, you watch a few minutes and go, “OH NO.” I am someone who always finishes a movie no matter what, but it’s a real bummer when you can see that something is going to be terrible from jump.
Honey Don’t! is loosely about Honey, a private investigator in a small town. A woman was in a car accident and this woman was scheduled to meet with her, so she tries to solve the crime. There is also a drug being dealt, a church reverend who has sex with his female parishioners, a guy running for his life, and a man who wants to know if his partner is cheating on him.
This movie is bad. Like, really bad. It looks great visually, but it is all over the place in terms of storyline, and I honestly never knew exactly why anyone was doing what they were doing. Nothing seemed to be connected, and somehow, everything was maybe connected? I’m really not sure.
There is a lot of sex, which seems to be the only constant. Whether it is the reverend of the church with different women or Honey and several partners, everyone gets back to work after they’re done. There seems to be some statement in the fact that Honey doesn’t want commitment and likes to be put together (always dressed nicely with heels) and do things the way she likes them (for example, she still uses a rolodex), but who knows what it is.
There is some awful dialogue in Honey Don’t!, and I assume they thought they were being cute but it just didn’t work. Lines like, “Is he still dead?” and “We do not serve the temple by sitting there like macaroni” are real words that are spoken. Maybe in the right context they could be funny, but they aren’t here.
The most clever part of this film is during the opening credits, as they list each name on a rundown building or train car while a sort of film of the town takes place. You’re meant to understand that this is a little town in the middle of nowhere where everyone is either poor or stuck. But then it goes downhill.
The actors do the best job that they can. They are believable and seem to do everything being asked of them, but I feel bad for Margaret Qualley, Aubrey Plaza, and Chris Evans, because I assume they’ll hope that people forget about this film.
Between a child freaking out in a strange way while another holds sheets with period blood, and a woman who rides her motorbike and owns a helmet that coordinates with each of her outfits, Honey Don’t! is charmless and boring. Honestly, just don’t.
Runtime: 89 minutes
Motion Picture Rating: R
Languages Spoken In The Film: English
Should You Watch It? No
Did I Cry? Nope
My Rating: 1/5 Stars
Available: Free on Peacock, to rent on Prime Video, or may be available for free on other streaming platforms
