A true-crime dramatization of the infamous murder case, Suitcase Killer: The Melanie McGuire Story leans so heavily into melodrama that it becomes difficult to take seriously.
I don’t watch many Lifetime movies, but I am a huge true crime lover. If you are willing to share your story, I’m here to watch it, and lots of Lifetime movies fit that bill. But, like I Was Octomom: The Natalie Suleman Story, they can be enjoyable and not actually good. Octomom was at least an interesting story. This one… isn’t.
Suitcase Killer: The Melanie McGuire Story is about Melanie Slate, a nurse who marries Bill McGuire. He seemingly has gambling and infidelity problems, even after 5 years of marriage and 2 children. Melanie, who begins an affair with a doctor at her work, is unhappy in her marriage. When her husband is found dead, she is accused of his murder.
I laughed out loud quite a bit while watching this movie, it was very funny. The only problem – it’s not a comedy. The acting was so over-the-top and the storyline so sensationalized, I didn’t even realize that I had watched this story on 20/20 until hours after watching the movie. It didn’t feel like the same story.
A few things I found funny that still make me chuckle now are that Melanie has exactly one friend. They have known each other since grade school, and she is there for every important or stressful event.
At one point, Melanie is up in the middle of the night on her computer. She claims to have been unable to sleep, but she has been seemingly ready for bed, in full makeup. And her hair is so beautifully silky that I wanted to ask what products she uses. I have never looked like that at 3am. I’m not sure about you.
The best moment, and the one that had me laughing the loudest, was when Melanie was stressed, so the doctor offered to do the blood draw on a patient himself. I have had my share of hospitals, surgeries, and blood draws, and if you know anything about the medical profession, you know that doctors are likely the last people you want drawing your blood, nor do they offer. Just the idea still has me chuckling.
The one saving grace of this movie is a section that explores the possibility that Melanie committed the crime. There are a few options for how she could have done it, and each is acted out as if it’s actually what happened. You are left unsure, but with ideas. If she hadn’t been wearing a white tank top while covered in blood each time I might have taken it more seriously, but I appreciated the options being presented.
Suitcase Killer: The Melanie McGuire Story is an over-the-top, soap-opera-like Lifetime movie that exists on the surface and never encourages you to care about the characters. It is cheesy and hard to take seriously, but it is good for a laugh. Once you’re done, hunt down that 20/20 episode. It’s better.
Runtime: 87 minutes
Motion Picture Rating: TV-14
Languages Spoken In The Film: English
Should You Watch It? No
Did I Cry? Yes, but only with laughter at how bad it is
My Rating: 1.5/5 Stars
Available: To rent on Prime Video or may be available for free on other streaming platforms
I don’t watch many Lifetime movies, but I am a huge true crime lover. If you are willing to share your story, I’m here to watch it, and lots of Lifetime movies fit that bill. But, like I Was Octomom: The Natalie Suleman Story, they can be enjoyable and not actually good. Octomom was at least an interesting story. This one… isn’t.
